Seven Devils
by echoingsilhouette
Summary: The Mystic Falls gang all have their scars, none of which are visible to each other. Each must face their worst enemy. Themselves. But do they have to do it alone? Will they be able to save each other or even themselves? Or will they continue on in the dark hurricane their lives have become. WARNING: VERY DARK! POSSIBLE TRIGGERS!
1. Matt

His alarm went off signalling the worst part of his day. Waking up. He groaned and turned his alarm off. This part was always the hardest. Getting out of bed and starting the day always felt impossible.

He stumbled downstairs, dressed in his uniform ready to begin his shift at the police station. He saw his roommate, Tyler laying on the couch completely naked, beer bottles sprung out around him and Matt felt an immense sense of pity. He didn't understand why they were still friends. He didn't understand why any of them were still friends really. They had grown up together and had been close but they were all so different now. Matt supposed they had chosen each other as family when they needed it most and still felt that moral responsibility to take care of each other.

"Hey, Ty, you should wake up bro."

Tyler groaned in response and tried to shrug Matt's hand off.

"Come on man, wake up, take a shower, get ready for work."

"I work at night asshole, now fuck off."

Matt didn't want to leave him like this but it was pointless arguing with him now. He was a raging alcoholic and always lost his temper whenever he drank and of course he worked at a nightclub. It was like having a child work at a candy store. But Matt had just gotten used to it by now and he couldn't risk being late to work. He'd already called off and came in late too many times, he couldn't get away with it much more.

"Ok, well try to take care of yourself, I'll be back later."

* * *

"Hey Matt!"

"Hey Lena, Care.." He nodded to each one in turn and set down the usual sandwich and soda they always got for lunch. It was tradition for the three of them to meet up during their lunch breaks which all conveniently happened to be at the same time.

"How are you Matty?" Elena asked gently.

"Good." Lie.

Elena smiled at him before taking a bite of her sandwich. Elena didn't deserve to be stuck with them. She was too good, too pure, and he was always his fakest with her, not wanting to drag her down into his darkness. She had always been gentle with all of them and never lost her light. Matt was pretty sure she was a big reason he got through the day. No, he wasn't in love with her. Yes, he loved her, probably a little more than the others, but he had had his two great loves and Elena was more family to him than anything. She had a simple life and no big troubles, her family had died when she was younger, but she was raised by her loving Aunt Jenna in one of the nicer houses in the neighborhood. At twenty two and naturally beautiful Matt was pretty sure she was still a virgin. She had few and fleeting boyfriends in the past and she was to self concious for no reason to go very far with them. In Matt's eyes that just made her all the more pure.

"Thanks for paying." Caroline said, not looking up from her phone.

"Yeah, no problem."

Caroline was the exact opposite of Elena. She was more the type of girl that would be expected to be in their ragtag group. She always wore the tightest and skimpiest outfits she could and threw herself at any guy that gave her the time of day, which happened to be very many. She was beautiful too but in a much different way than Elena. Caroline looked like someone who had just walked out of a magazine and lived in a step up from a dumpster so she could buy clothes to make her look like money. She could be bitchy and she could be shallow but Matt had known her too long to know that those words didn't define her. She was confident and held her head high. Despite sleeping with multiple men a night and shopping till she nearly dropped, she always put her one year old daughter first. Care was a hardworking and an amazing single mother. She didn't let petty things or petty problems get in her way and knew what she wanted. Matt admire that.

The trio continued to eat their lunch making small talk that no one really cared about, except maybe Elena, she cared almost too much about how everyone is.

Matt tried to stay involved with their petty conversation but he couldn't help think about all the times they had lunch here before. He had loved their food then, loved any food in general, but now, it kind of scared him, how all food, even his old favorites tasted like cardboard. He wasn't too surprised though. These days it felt like he was looking at life through a black and white filter.

Matt wondered for a second what Elena would do if he told her how he really felt. How it was hard to breathe sometimes because he just felt this pressure on his chest. How he hated talking about Caroline's daughter because it reminded him of what he had but didn't have anymore. How he hated talking about his living situation since it had been so perfect before and now it was cheap. What would she think if he said he barely got through the night which was why just talking exhausted him? If he explained how he was drowning and wanted to be saved, he really did, but he was just too tired to swim.

They finished their lunch, said goodbye, and headed their separate ways.

* * *

Matt groaned and rubbed his back. He had been having aches for a little while now and as a police officer they really interfered with his job. He was out again and had turned down another extra shift due to this pain and decided he would try to get away early in order to try and get some sleep. Sleep had become his favorite thing recently and there had been days he had called off work in order just to enjoy it a little longer because although sleep was always what he was striving for and despite the fact that he always felt tired, getting to sleep seemed like an impossible task.

"Donovan, can I talk with you for a sec?"

"Sure." Matt smiled.

He walked with the chief in silence to the main office.

"Sit down." His voice wasn't stern, but… sad?

"Yes, sir."

"Donovan you're a great guy, you know that right?"

"Yeah, sure." Lie.

"Well that's why it kills me to do this. But I have to."

Matt had stopped really listening. He started to think about why he joined the force in the first place and he suddenly felt as if he were up in some high altitude.

"You call off too often and I know that they're for good reasons, but we haven't been able to do as much as we can when we're down one man."

Matt wondered if he'd ever be able to solve the case he had signed up for or if he would retire before he even got the chance to get a suspect.

"Even when you do work, you're distracted. You can't focus on the task and that can hurt. We are dealing with serious cases here."

He wanted to cry out when another back ache washed over him like a tidal wave, hitting him hard.

"So I really am sorry, Donovan, but we're gonna have to let you go. This is your two week notice, we expect you to still behave to the best of your ability and have your things from your office packed up before your last day."

"What?" Matt asked, realizing he had gotten distracted.

"Matt, you're fired. I'm sorry. Two weeks."

"Why?!" Fear rose in his voice. Him and Tyler both paid the rent but he was the main provider. He needed this job even though he hated it.

"I just told you why." The chief said, exasperated.

"Ok."

"Donovan, I really am sorry."

"Yeah, no, I'm sorry." He gave him a smile then left the office.

* * *

"Hey, bro." Tyler said as Matt walked through the door.

"Hey." Matt uttered in response. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, not that he ever was, but now especially he just wanted to be alone in his room.

He opened his door and crashed down on the bad, grabbing the picture before. He knew what he should be doing was looking for a new job, but he was tired, he didn't have the energy, he just wanted to go to sleep. He looked at the picture and began to cry.

His family had been beautiful and they had made him so happy. His wife, Penny, light and delicate but with a fierce personality was his first true love. She had cute short brown hair that always made him laugh when it bobbed up and down as she ranted. Her green eyes sparkled for him, he had noticed, and he assumed his eyes did the same. He didn't deserve her. He really didn't. They were a partnership and were supposed to work together and protect each other, but he had failed her. He had failed them both.

Their daughter, Fiona, was the most beautiful, adorable, sweetest, and intelligent six year old he had ever met. She was his second true love. God, did he love her. She was the epitome of a daddy's girl, right down to her looks. She had has dark blue eyes along with long, almost bleach blonde hair. She had a goofy smile that always made him smile in return and had her mother's pout that brought him to his knees. She had him wrapped around her finger along with her mom and from the moment she was born he vowed to never let any darkness touch her. But of course, he wasn't able to keep her safe.

He had been selfish with them and neither of them deserved that. He should've let them go, pushed them as far away from his destructiveness before it was too late. But he was stupid, and head over heels, and he made himself believe that maybe he had done something right to have both of them in his life. Maybe he would be able to love them and keep them safe without hurting them. Lie. They had both died horrific deaths because of him. Because he hadn't been able to protect them well enough. He hadn't shown God that he was worthy of them and that he really truly loved them and because of that God took them away.

Matt turned to his side as sobs overtook him. He wrapped the photo in his comforting and protective embrace, as if by loving them and protecting them now could bring them back. Without them he'd never be happy. Not truly. He'll never get over it or feel better and as hard as he tried, he just couldn't see that light at the end of the tunnel.

* * *

Again his alarm went off.

Again he managed to get up.

Again he went to work.

Again he had lunch with Care and Elena.

Again he came back home and tried to go to sleep.

His life was a cycle that he felt stuck on. It was the same motions every day. He felt like a prisoner in his own head, watching a perfectly normal life go on around him, living through it, while being stuck in his own head that covered him in darkness like a blanket. He was never quite sure of his emotions anymore. He couldn't tell if he felt nothing or angry or sad or depressed or everything. The only thing he really knew for sure was that he was so tired.

Often he wondered what the point was. Nobody was left to really miss him. He had his friends like Elena and Care and Ty, but they would mourn and get over him like how normal grief was supposed to go. They wouldn't be like him, drowning in mourning and not being able to move on, or more specifically, not wanting to.

That was another reason he felt a new found hateness for himself. He had done his mourning. Went through the five stages of grief. He hadn't been able to believe that they were gone for the longest time, he had been pissed at himself for letting them slip through his fingers and losing them, he had even tried to reach out to a few, his father even, and even accepted that they were dead and there was nothing he could do about it. So why couldn't he move on with his life now? It's not like he wouldn't be able to do it. He could easily find a new job, one that he would enjoy and focus on it. He had enough money saved up to even possibly move out and get his own place. He had friends all around him and his dad, his only family left, did his best to visit him every once in awhile. He could go to a bar with Ty or even a club and meet some new people. Hell, he could even ask Bonnie or Care if one of them would like to go on a casual coffee date, just to have some single female interaction. But he did none of those things. What did he do instead? Curl up in a ball on his bed, holding on old memory, sobbing, drowning.

Sometimes, thinking about ways to end it brought him peace, even sleep on rare occasions. His favorite scenario was drowning himself. Going to the falls, tying a heavy rock around his chest, holding his picture in his hand, and just drowning. It seemed poetic in a way. He was metaphorically dying since he had lost his loves so why wouldn't he end himself by literal drowning?

He liked this idea so much he had even done research on it. He found that although drowning was scary, it wasn't painful. It didn't hurt and it could be quick. All you had to do was take in a lungful and that's it. You'd just fall asleep.

He had done some swimming in high school, nothing huge, but he had always found it calming under the water. Like it was his own little world and even still alive it felt as though he had slipped away. There was no noise, nothing weighing you down. It was just simple and quiet. He could easily do it, he knew he could.

But just like moving on, he never did it. Maybe it was because he wanted himself to suffer. He wanted to feel the harsh pain of leaving them behind, he didn't want to move on feeling as if that would mean he stopped loving them and didn't feel guilt eating away at him constantly.

It was now 1:30 in the morning. He felt a headache coming on and groaned. He just wanted to sleep.

This wasn't how their lives were supposed to be.


	2. Bonnie

"God, Bonnie you are such a life saver."

"Yeah, no problem! So where do you want to go?"

"Oh... no."

"What?"

"Bonnie, I meant could you watch Florence for me. I got called into work last minute and they said its an emergency! I am so sorry! Can you still watch her? I promise we can hang out next time!"

"Yeah, sure." Bonnie said, trying to hide her disappointment.

"Thank you so much! Love you!" Caroline said while rushing out the door.

Bonnie wondered why she was surprised or even disappointed. She never fit with them. They included her, sure, and they talked to her, but you could just tell, from an outsider looking in, she just didn't match.

The boys for sure noticed the difference, although Elena and Caroline chose to ignore it, but Bonnie just couldn't compare to them. Elena was beautiful in a humble way, with her sweet disposition, doe brown eyes, and tanned skin, she drew the boy's right to her. Caroline was a light skinned beauty. She was sassy and funny and the men loved it. She could be fun and wild and knew how to talk to people to get them to feel like she's in love with them already. Bonnie couldn't do any of that. She was shy somewhat, she talked but never put herself out there. She had dark skin that didn't match with her green eyes. Her body didn't match either. She wasn't properly curvy like Caroline or a cutsy thin like Elena, she was in between, awkward and boring.

She tried her hardest though to fit in. She gossiped about petty things and petty people with Caroline and went to bookstores and tried yoga with Elena. None of these were things that interested her, but she did them just so they would talk to her. She had tried to change her body to match one of theirs. First she tried simply eating less to be skinny like Elena, but all she got was loose flabby skin, once again she couldn't compete with Elena's natural thinness. After, she tried working out more, trying to become more toned like Caroline. The result looked better than when she had tried to look like Elena, but it wasn't curvy, it just became muscular.

Bonnie looked down at Caroline's giggly and adorable one year old daughter. It was weird but she even found herself jealous of the baby. Her mother was Caroline and if Bonnie remembered correctly her father wasn't too bad looking either. Bonnie could just tell Florence would be popular. She would be social and beautiful and smart and a boy magnet. Everyone would love her. Truly love her. Everyone already did. While Bonnie, as always, would simply fade into the background.

* * *

It was saturday night and of course Bonnie was alone. She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts. She had many listed but almost none she could actually call. She came to Damon's number and stopped. She wanted to call him so bad. He was the most real one out of their group and Bonnie could be much more herself with him. She sometimes even forgot to pretend when they hung out. Of course they only hung out when they were with the rest of the group, but something about Damon made him not fit in either and the two of them matched in their differences.

She continued to scroll past his name, grudgingly. All the names she saw made her feel weak. All these people and yet not one she could talk to. If she told them what was really going on in her mind and in her life they would leave her faster than a race car leaves the starting line.

Bonnie came across Elena's name and decided she'd be a safe choice to call. Plus, Elena always answered her phone. She pressed call and put the phone up to her ear.

The ringing continued on and on until finally it went to voicemail.

"Hey, Lena, I hope everythings ok. Just was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out tonight, you could come over here or I could come over there or whatever. Just give me a call back if you're free. See ya later, bye!"

Bonnie felt a flash of concern, Elena always picked up. She didn't think too much into it though. Elena was probably asleep or something.

Bonnie scrolled back up to Damon's name. It was Saturday night so he was probably drunk somewhere. Bonnie wouldn't mind joining him. She could use a break from her thoughts and Damon sure knew how to make her forget. Still. They had never hung out just them before and her self doubt started growing in her mind. She didn't want Damon to think she had some silly crush on him, all she wanted was to hang out and maybe get a little drunk. Bonnie thought about how close they had become recently. They talked a lot and even texted each other on occasion. Bonnie figured they had basically hung out alone since when they were with the group they always hung back by themselves.

Before she could think more about it, Bonnie hit the call button.

He answered in the first ring and Bonnie stayed silent, regretting her decision. Luckily, Damon spoke first.

"Bonnie." It sounded like he was crying.

"Damon? Is something wrong?"

"Bonnie, can you come over to my place. Please. I need… I need to talk to someone."

"Yeah, sure, I'll be right over."

Bonnie wanted to be happy that he needed her, but she was still doubtful. This is what the others always did. They called Bonnie when they were in distress and poured out their feelings to her while Bonnie listened and sympathized, but as soon as the tables were turned none of them cared about her. She didn't want Damon to be the same.

* * *

She was standing in front of his apartment door, regretting her decision to come and wondering if she should just turn around.

But once again she decided to just go through with it and knocked on his door.

Immediately, as if he had been waiting for her, the door opened to reveal a very dishevelled Damon. He looked relieved to see her and quickly ushered her in.

"Damon, whats wrong?"

He looked frantically around the room as if someone where going to pop out and attack him. Bonnie could tell by his bloodshot eyes and foul breath that he had been drinking which explained a lot of his behaviour, but still, something was off.

"Bonnie, I did something really bad. I messed up!" He whispered frantically.

"Damon. What did you do?"

Bonnie was scared. She knew how he could get when he was drunk and he did crazy things. She was worried he might have hurt himself or done something seriously illegal.

"I hurt someone I love." He fell against her sobbing.

"Damon, who did you hurt."

"I can't tell you, Bonnie... but I hurt them so bad!"

"It's okay, Damon, I'm sure they're going to be okay." She kneeled down to be at his level and his cold blue eyes met her concerned green ones.

They stayed like that for a while and Bonnie forgot about her act of being the caregiver and keeping her emotions to herself and just allowed herself to fall into Damon's eyes.

"Bonnie, I'm so scared." His eyes never left hers.

"It's okay, Damon. I'll make it better." And with that she leaned in and kissed him.

They melted into each other and Bonnie felt as if she could almost see the calmness washing over them. Their kiss wasn't frantic or needy, it was loving and simple. She felt herself warming up and when Damon reached out and brushed her face Bonnie wanted to cry from all the vulnerability she was showing him and he was accepting. The whole thing felt so real and Bonnie felt so in the moment. She opened her mouth, wanting to accept more of him. He gladly obliged.

The two continued to kiss until Damon backed away and stood up. Bonnie followed but couldn't meet his eyes, she thought he was done with her now. She had done what she was supposed to do which was make him feel better, but now that he was good again, he was doing what everyone else always did and throwing her away.

However when Damon took her hand and started leading her to the bedroom she felt a tear roll down her face, realizing he had felt their connection as well and wanted more, just like she did. She felt lost in the best way as soon as his lips reconnected with hers and she wanted to be with him, wholly. No words were spoken between the two, but everything was said.

Their clothes were removed slowly, everything they were doing was done slowly. They were in no rush and wanted the moment to continue on as long as possible.

When Damon slowly slid into her she felt complete. She wanted to close her eyes from all the emotions running through her, it was overwhelming after being so closed off for so long, but instead she kept them focused on Damon's. He did the same and began to slowly move back and forth. Before they knew it they were both falling over the edge.

* * *

Bonnie had stayed the night, it wasn't just expected, it was welcomed. She had slept so soundly in Damon's strong arms, wrapped around her like a blanket while protecting her like a shield. After Damon had fallen asleep, Bonnie wondered how a man could be so big and tough but yet so gentle and soft at the same time.

But she knew it couldn't last forever. She was Bonnie, no one truly wanted her, not even Damon. He was the perfect man. An amazing body, a gentle and a wild side, and a large amount of love to give. She knew simply from watching him that he was the kind of man who fell in love recklessly and wholeheartedly, not caring or considering whether it would destroy him. And Bonnie knew simply from watching that she wasn't his type of girl. She wasn't anyones type of girl.

So, when she woke up before Damon, she quickly got dressed and left.

Even though she was heartbroken over having to leave him a part of her felt somewhat exhilarated. No, she wasn't really the kind of girl that was strong and independent and who played the players, but from the outside looking in it sure seemed that way. For once, instead of waiting for someone to leave her she had left them before they even had the chance and even though she hadn't really wanted to, it still felt somewhat powerful to even just to look like that kind of girl. That strong, independent kind of girl she had always aspired to be.

But it didn't change the fact that it was Damon she left and she had fallen in love with him. She had truly figured out she loved him the moment she had seen his helpless stare. He had needed her, sure, but he had needed only her and then later proved that he had wanted her too.

She felt the need to tell someone about it and without really thinking, once she had gotten home, she called her mom.

"Bonnie?"

"Mom, I've fallen in love with someone! He's so sweet and handsome and caring-"

"Bonnie, why did you call me? Do you need something?"

"What? No? I just wanted to talk. Something amazing happened last night an-"

"Bonnie, I don't have time for this. I'm sorry. Are you sure there's nothing you absolutely need?"

"No, mom. I'm good. Sorry for calling."

"Okay, Bonnie, bye."

Before Bonnie could say bye back, her mom had hung up.

"Do I absolutely need anything? Yeah, I fucking do. I need a fucking mom and I need someone to fucking talk to!" She threw her phone across the room and it skidded on the wooden floor and her sobs broke free.

* * *

Bonnie saw Damon again the next day. She tried to act like nothing had happened, but she would still stare a little longer than usual, trying to decipher if he was trying to do the same. He was an amazingly good actor. It seemed like he quite literally didn't remember anything. He said hi to her and held their usual simple conversation like it was totally normal between them. Bonnie remembered that he had been drunk that night and acting crazy. Maybe he genuinely didn't remember.

They had all gone out to a bar, except Elena and Stefan, but other than that everyone was there. Bonnie enjoyed the loud bar scene since it allowed her to focus on Damon without everyone noticing her silence, not that they would've noticed anyway. He was having a good time, laughing and smiling and drinking as usual, he seemed carefree which could only mean two things. One, Bonnie was just another hook up for him. Or two, he was too drunk to remember.

"Here Bon." Care turned to her, handing her a shot.

"Let's get wasted!"

Bonnie looked as her friend easily downed the first shot and made a grab for another. Than she looked back at Damon who was swaying in time to the music, a random girl on his hips. With a shrug she downed her shot as well. Might as well try to have some fun for once.

* * *

As the night went on and more drinks were ordered Bonnie was officially completely drunk. Damon was too so the pair ended up dancing with each other in a very seductive manner that would've made sober Bonnie wonder if maybe he did remember how well their bodies felt together. This time, unlike last night, their eyes held much more lust than Bonnie's ever felt in her entire life. For once, she knew the true meaning of being turned on. She bravely connected their lips and in three seconds flat Damon was fucking her in the women's bathroom.

It was strange the parallels. The first time they had sex Bonnie had realized she loved him and now, during their second time, she realized Damon didn't love her. She knew she should be feeling sad or something, but instead she really didn't give a shit. Right now she didn't really love him either, right now he was just a good fuck for her. And by God, was he a good fuck. With every thrust Bonnie felt electricity going through her and an intense build up in her stomach. Her clit was stinging with excitement as she felt Damon moving against it. She could feel her inner walls squeezing Damon's enormous hard cock and it all just felt so right. Even being in a sleazy bathroom while others literally walked in and just paid them no attention only seemed to turn her on more.

Obviously, she came quickly and hard, barely managing to stop herself from screaming out. She didn't feel it, but she could tell by Damon's face that he had cum too.

They both waited for a moment until they caught their breath and then Damon simply left. He didn't say goodbye, he didn't say to give him a call or that he had a good time, he just left. Bonnie sat for a moment and then headed out too. She saw her 'friends'. Caroline was grinding with two men, Matt was trying to control Tyler in his drunken rage, and Damon was already back flirting with another girl. Bonnie noted how his pants weren't even zippered back up yet. Again none of her friends seemed to care about her. It didn't even seem like they had noticed she had been gone. But yet again she didn't really care. Bonnie just turned and headed back to her apartment.

* * *

Bonnie collapsed onto her bed, throughly exhuasted. The borderline rough sex she had with Damon along with all the drinking had worn her out. She was ready for a good nights sleep but she knew she wouldn't be getting one. Whenever she drank she always had a harder time falling asleep, not to mention her thoughts where running rampant.

She couldn't stop thinking about what being with Damon had meant. Was that 'hey we're a couple sex'? Was it 'hey I'm honry as fuck right now and you're the first hot girl I saw' sex? Did it mean anything to him? Hell, did it mean anything to her?

A voice she had silenced long ago crawled its way back into her head. It was a voice of hope. A voice that was trying to tell her that the sex had meant something, to both of them, and now was Bonnie's chance to make that connection she had always craved.

And she knew she craved it. She always had wanted a connection with someone, anyone, where she knew no matter what she did they would always love her. A relationship where she didn't have to pretend like she was fine all the time. Damon was the closest she had come to that. But she knew better. Damon was the complete opposite, he wanted nothing to do with a relationship and he made sure everyone knew that.

The little voice in her head tried to remind her of that night, the look in his eyes. It told her to trust that look and to allow herself to love him and have faith and hope in the fact that he might just love her too. But Bonnie knew better.

Hope hurts, and she didn't want to hurt anymore.


	3. Tyler

Tyler woke up with a pounding headache which had become so common to him he barely noticed. Almost like a reflex he reached out for the bourbon bottle he saw sitting on the table in front of him. Luckily, it wasn't completely empty and had just enough for him to take a good swig and numb his headache, or more specifically, his hangover.

He looked around and realized he had crashed on the couch again. Judging by the blaring sun and the intense humidity in the apartment, Tyler assumed it was about twelve in the afternoon. Anger worked its way into his mind and he wondered why Matt, who most have been gone to work by now, hadn't woken him up.

Tyler relaxed back into the couch and recounted the dream he had been having about his family. He wasn't sure if it could be classified as a nightmare, but these "dreams" always left him feeling tense. And an even stronger craving for booze.

He had a small family. It was just him, his mom, his dad, and his uncle. Uncle Mason was barely ever around and Tyler knew it was because he thought he was weird. Uncle Mason only ever came around maybe once or twice a year and it was more to just see his brother, Tyler's dad.

His mom tried too hard and it pissed Tyler off. It was almost as if she had some sort of secret agenda, she seemed to always be trying to screw him over by throwing him off. For example, giving him mixed signals. She kicked him out of the house, but was crying and telling him how much she loved him and that kicking him out would be the best thing for him. Tyler wasn't sure how being homeless would be the best thing for him, but if that's what she thought, then whatever.

His dad was the only real person who loved him. He was honest and truly wanted only the best for him. Ever since Tyler was a child he could always rely on his dad. Richard was the one that taught him how to stop from ever getting bullies. Tyler never had a bully a day in his life, ever, because his dad taught him to be scary and mean to the kids before they could be mean to him. His dad gave him his first drop of alcohol which basically meant he showed him pure bliss. His dipshit of a mom wanted him to wait till the legal age, but his dad let him drink it when he was just ten and it was incredible. Ever since then, Tyler's been drinking it with every meal like goddamn lemonade, just like his dad.

Everyone he's ever known in his entire life has lied to him. Either promised they'd be there, but then leave when he needed them. Claim they understood how he felt, only to judge him for it later. But not his dad. His dad was always honest, brutally honest, even when he was just a little boy. If he made a mistake, Richard wouldn't sugar coat it like his mom would, he'd tell him straight to his face that he was a stupid fucking clutz, those were his exact words. If Tyler got cheated on by some girl, his annoying friends would say she was just another slut, but his dad would say he wasn't good enough for her. And he was always right. The few times he did lay a hand on Tyler, Tyler knew he deserved it. Even though he wasn't always sure what he did wrong, he knew he must've done something. Sometimes it was like his dad could predict the future, he would tell Tyler that he was beating him for what he would eventually do, he knew and was honest that Tyler was dumb as fuck and messed up all the fucking time. Sure enough Tyler would start crying, which always deserved a beating. Only pathetic pussys cry. Tyler was already a screw up, he didn't need to be a sissy too, and his dad saved him from that.

Tyler rose from the couch, heading into the kitchen for whatever food he could find and a fresh beer. He glanced at the clock and realized it was actually almost 1:30 in the afternoon, he had to go into the grill from three to to ten which meant he wouldn't be able to drink as freely as he'd like, but at least this way he could sneak a couple of free-bes.

* * *

"You look like shit." Caroline Forbes said as he walked into the breakroom.

"Fuck you."

"You know, if you weren't so angry at the world all the time, maybe you'd be a little happier. You should try it sometime."

"What time do you leave anyway? Please tell me I'm not dealing with your ass all night."

"You just don't wanna work with me because you know I'd get all the tips, but I'm clocking out now, I have a daughter, remember dumbass? That I kind of need to pick up at daycare?"

"Lucky bitch, and if I had tits, I'd probably get double the tips too."

Caroline laughed and walked over to him, giving him a pat on the back after she clocked out.

Caroline was probably one of his favorites in the group, at least as far as females go. They had hooked up a couple of times, but both were clear that they would always be just friends. Not to mention, she had a smoking hot bod and was a vixen in the sheets. They worked together, but rarely had the same shifts. Caroline mostly had day shifts since not many daycares were open past seven and she had to go take care of Florence. Tyler always had night shifts, his managers realized relatively quickly that he was useless during the day, but they still kept him around since he knew his drinks and was, for the most part, good with the customers.

He hated working. He only did it so he could pay rent and buy more booze, but he hated it because he wasn't allowed to get shitfaced at work. He could have a couple drinks, sure, but not enough to feel nothing, not enough to get rid of this feeling he'd get whenever he was sober. He was sure it was the worst feeling anyone could ever have. It felt hopeless, as if there was no point in anything. If Ty was sober for too long, it would start to even physically hurt him. His tongue would dry up and he'd have trouble walking so he drank. Because the only time this strange intense feeling was ever gone was when he was drunk. Working at a bar at least made it easy to sneak some.

* * *

"I think everyone is going out tonight, you coming?" Caroline asked in a rush, riding his dick.

Ty sighed. Don't get him wrong, Care was an amazing fuck, but even in bed she had trouble shutting up. He waited to respond until both of them had finished their ogasm and Caroline layed next to him, lighting a cigarette.

"Yeah, I'm off tonight, you can count me in. What time?"

"Whenever you're ready, I think some of them are already there. You and me can carpool."

The idea of a drink sounded amazing so he stood up and began dressing. Caroline, taking the hint began getting dressed as well and in a matter of minutes they were out the door headed to the bar.

Sure enough, everyone else was already there except for Elena and Stefan, Tyler had an idea of what they were doing.

His first order of business was ordering a drink, something that would get him fucked fast. He downed half a bottle of whiskey before he began to even feel anything and rejoined his friends out on the dance floor.

Some might say Tyler used alcohol as crutch. A way to better socialize, feel more comfortable, more happy, but Tyler didn't see it that way. To him, alcohol was a form of medicine. When he was sober he wasn't someone anyone wanted to be around, always irritated with a raging temper. But drunk Tyler? Drunk Tyler was fuckin fun. He was himself when he drank, the real him coming out. His life was no longer something he wanted to escape, but rather a beautiful display of passion and excitement. Laughter flowed easily and he felt like the king of the world. As he grinded on some rando he realized there was a way he could make this experience even better. He escaped to the bathroom.

There he saw Damon and Bonnie fucking on the sink. He laughed, them both being so into each other they didn't even notice the multiple people walking in and out. Everyone in the group already had their theories that Damon and Bonnie where hooking up on the side. Their connection as well as sexual tension was always fairly obvious. Tyler smiled slyly, excited to confirm with the rest of the group later that there suspicions were correct. However, that wasn't what he came in here for.

He made his way into a stall, sitting down on the toilet and pulling a small plastic bag with white powder inside out of his pocket. Next, as if this was as routine as brushing your teeth, he took out his phone and credit card, pouring the powder onto the back of his phone. He then used his card to make four tiny lines. Plugging one nostril and sticking a rolled up dollar bill in the other, he sniffed up each line one by one. He leaned back when he was done, not wanting to go back into the outside world until he felt the effects.

When they finally did hit, they hit hard and mixed with the alcohol Tyler felt like he was floating on cloud nine. In a normal pace, although to him he felt like he was moving in slow motion, he stood up and walked out of the stall.

His senses where all on full blast. He could hear everything. The pumping club music, the vast conversations going on, Damon and Bonnie still fucking on the sink, their skin slapping the porcelain and their moans ringing in his ears. With each new sound, colors popped in front of his eyes. The bright glow from the lights in the bathroom and the sudden change to the dark neon glow when he entered back into the club suddenly seemed much more distinct. He could taste his tongue in his mouth. It was warm and wet, his teeth still had the lingering taste of alcohol on them as well and Tyler was sure he could taste a little bit of each drink he had had in the past five hours. He could feel the air around him, it was thick and he could feel the multiple bodies he bumped into, their warm skin sending shock waves when they rubbed up against his.

But out of all his senses, the one that seemed to be the most prominent was his sense of smell. Nothing was making it past his nose. He could smell the random guy behind hims sweat, he could distinctly make out the difference between Caroline's perfume compared to the other girls nearby. And most of all he could smell the alcohol. To Tyler, the smell was as familiar to him as the smell of homemade cookies is to others. It reminded him of his dad more than anything.

He suddenly was a bloodhound, following the trail of the smell all the way to the bar. He ordered more to drink. The taste of it gliding down his throat burned in the most beautiful of ways, coating his throat with comfort.

Then something changed. No longer did the mixture of vodka and cocaine feel right anymore. His senses where on alert and everything seemed much more threatening. The music was deafening, the lights blinding, his tongue disgusting, the air suffocating, and the scent of sweat reeking. His heart began to pound in his chest and he knew he had to get out of there. Never before had this happened to him and the only thought running on repeat in his mind was something his father had once said to him. After whipping him with his belt, Richard loomed over thirteen year old Tyler, grabbing him by the face and forcing him to make eye contact. "The day the world sees you for the little bitch you are, is the day you'll die. Don't let them see you weak."

Tyler sprang up from his seat although he never remembered sitting down and ran as fast as he could out of the club. Being outside though didn't calm him much at all, if anything he felt even more exposed. He began to see dark shapes and figures watching him from the dark. None of them had faces, but they all had the same voice saying the same thing. "The day the world sees you for the little bitch you are, is the day you'll die. Don't let them see you weak."

He began to run faster, racing to some unknown finish line. The faster he ran, the more shadows began to appear and the louder the chanting got. He knew it was hopeless. He had been seen. The world must have found some way into his darkest parts of his psyche to realize how weak he truly was. They saw that he needed alcohol and drugs because without them his anxiety was higher than his tolerance. The world realized he hid behind his angry outbursts to cover up for the fact that he was terrified of people seeing the real him. The miserable, pathetic, dependent piece of shit he was. A coward who couldn't fend for himself.

His father was right. His father was always right and Tyler knew with almost a hundred percent certainty that this would be the day he died. The shadows would catch up with him soon. They would overpower him and do God knows what, he could already feel their darkness closing in as they chanted in his father's voice "The day the world sees you for the little bitch you are, is the day you'll die. Don't let them see you weak."

His lungs where tightening as he was running out of air and he naturally began to slow down, finally collapsing on his knees sobbing. He had let his father down, he had been weak. And now he was going to pay the price for it.

"I'm sorry dad! I'm so sorry!" He shouted as the darkness closed in around him.

* * *

He woke up right as vomit flew from his mouth. His head was banging and he shivered fiercely as the early morning air sliced his skin.

A bad trip. He'd never had one of those.

Tyler rose to his feet, taking in his surroundings. He was on Wickery Bridge and the sun was just beginning to come up. He couldn't recall anything from last night, only that he had been terrified. He felt miserable and needed to get home and get a drink, alcohol being the only cure to his hangovers. He took out his phone and ordered an Uber, hoping that'd it'd get there soon so he could get back and get rid of this painful migraine.

When he pulled his phone out, the tiny bag with white powder fell out as well and Tyler bent down to pick it up. It didn't take much consideration for him to take the rest of it. He preferred alcohol and was admittedly slightly nervous to be taking this stuff again right after the horrible trip last night, but it was all he had.

As the high began to set in, however, and the pounding in his head began to fade, he realized something.

You just gotta take the good with the bad sometimes.


	4. Elena

Everyday in the life of Elena Gilbert was completely the same. It had order and purpose and was just the same as the last. While others may find this cycle boring, Elena loved it. It made her feel safe and comfortable. She woke up in the morning in her tiny yet cozy apartment that she was able to afford all on her own. She got dressed, had some breakfast, then headed off to work at the library. During her lunch break she would meet up with Caroline and Matt, head back to work, head home and get ready to start the day all over again.

Of course, every once in a while she might do something different like go on a date with Stefan or meet everyone up at the bar, but for the most part her life was repetitive and Elena was happy with how her life had turned out thus far.

Since the day her entire family had died in a car accident she had been the cause of, her life had been unpredictable. It was worse at first, jumping from shelter to shelter, not sure where she would end up. But eventually her Aunt had finalized the adoption papers and taken custody of her. Still. Even after Elena was back in her own bed, the days that followed were some of her darkest. She had barely slept and instead had cried most of her nights. Within the first month of their death she had lost over ten pounds and she had only spoken single syllables to her aunt Jenna.

A year later she met Stefan and with his help she began to get her life back on track. Although her grades had dropped strikingly since her family's death, once she met Stefan she managed to pull them together. Instead of going to college, which her options would've been limited anyway, she jumped right into the workforce starting as a librarian and hoping to eventually make it to a publishing company.

"How are you Matty?"

"Good." He responded, but Elena could tell he was lying. Matt broke her heart. He didn't deserve all the pain and loss he had been through. Losing his wife and daughter destroyed him and although he always tried to act like he was fine in front of her, Elena knew he wasn't. She had lost her family too and she knew that kind of pain never went away. She just wished he'd talk to her.

"Thanks for paying." Caroline stated dully, not even looking up.

"So how's work been going for you guys?"

Work was a sure and safe topic to talk about and nothing about it could lead to deep emotions which they all had. It was small talk, but Elena loved small talk, and she genuinely wanted to know how their days had been going. When the conversation deepened and Caroline brought up Ren, Elena glanced at Matt to see the glimpse of pain in his eyes. She hated how much they all hurt.

* * *

"God damn it." No one was answering their phone which was actually pretty normal, but for once Elena was bored and wanted to go out or at the very least have a fun night in. Either option however required more than just herself.

Usually when she got in these moods she would just have Stefan over and they would have some wine and cuddle on the couch or dance around her apartment. They hadn't ever had sex, but Elena could see it getting their at some point. She was pretty sure she loved him, she just didn't feel ready yet. She had never done it before and Stefan, being the gentleman he was, completely understood and was fine with waiting. Unfortunately, he had told her he was working late tonight which meant he wasn't an option either.

She decided to try calling Damon next. The two had become good friends and the man knew how to hold his liquor. He would make the night fun, plus he always answered.

"Hey Damon, wanna come over and hang out? Have a wine night?" She said, chuckling.

"As long as there's alcohol, be there in five."

* * *

"What the actual fuck is happening."

The two where about eight glasses in each and Elena was very much drunk, making Damon even funnier. She threw her head back on his shoulder cracking up as he stared in complete disgust at the TV which was playing AGT's cringiest acts. He looked down at her smiling and took another sip of wine.

"Okay, let's do something else, I don't know how much more of this I can handle."

"Do you believe in parallel universes?" Elena asked, her head still resting on his shoulder.

"Yeah, of course." Damon snorted as if she was asking him a simple question.

"Okay well then let's talk about those. What do you think an alternate universe is like?"

"Well everything is opposite."

"Oh, of course." She said, giggling.

"For starters you and me actually get along." He whispered. She stared at him in fake amazement.

"In fact, you'd probably have ended up with me." He shrugged.

"Hey, how do you know we won't end up together in this universe?" Elena slurred, wanting to throw him off his game. The two would occasionally flirt with each other just to annoy Stefan so this wasn't really anything new.

"Damn… I think I need to get Stefan out of the picture."

"Yes, because murder is just such a turn on." Elena looked up flirtatiously, even going as far as placing a hand suggestively on his thigh.

"Truth or dare."

"Dare." She said seductively.

"One kiss. Bet you won't do it."

Before he could say anything more, Elena gave him a quick peck on the lips, leaning back, laughing hard.

But then Damon leaned forward and connected their lips again, this time his tongue prodding hers.

The kiss was surprisingly hot and passionate. It felt… nice. And Elena let her body take over, kissing him back and pulling his body onto hers.

"Elena, are you sure?" He whispered.

She was too drunk to really know what was happening so she just nodded, all she knew for sure was that she was enjoying it. His hands began moving up her shirt, groping her breasts causing her to moan around his mouth. When his hands found their way into her underwear, a feeling of uncertainty sent a chill down her spine. Even this intoxicated she knew she wasn't ready for sex, but as his fingers flicked her clit, the pleasure overtook her. She reached into his pants, taking out his rock hard cock and fondling it, picturing it moving inside her as he continued to rub her.

She closed her eyes and when she opened them again both of their pants where off. She felt his dick against her bare thigh and with a sudden thought, realized she wasn't ready for that. She didn't want it to go that far.

"No." She mumbled, pushing weakly against his chest.

"Please Elena, just let me show you… Let me show you what we can be…"

"Stop." She said again. She knew he had just said something but she couldn't understand it, she became focused solely on getting him off of her.

He began kissing her harder and grabbed her wrists, holding them above her head in a grip that felt much too tight, bordering on painful. As she struggled and failed to get away she began to cry slightly, fearful and confused as to what was happening, the only thing she knew for sure was that she didn't want it.

Damon shoved into her.

The pain as he took her virginity, especially considering the amount of force he used and how little wetness she had actually produced, caused her to begin crying earnestly, her mouth opening in a silent scream. He moved roughly, in and out, in and out, his hot breath panting in her ear. She felt herself begin to bleed as tears and snot smeared on her face. All she was able to focus on was Damon's face scrunched in exsertion and ecstasy, all she could smell was his cologne and scent, clogging her pores making it hard to breathe. And all she could feel was the pain with each movement. Never before had she been so terrified, she was completely powerless against him and all she was able to do was put up with the pain that felt more like a stab wound. She didn't know when it would end and after a while, began thinking it never would.

* * *

He finished and only after he had released himself did he seem to acknowledge what he had done. As he pulled himself out, Elena began sobbing harder in relief, thankful that the source of pain was finally gone. She curled in on herself, quickly pulling her sweatpants up and shielding her face, not wanting to see those chilling blue eyes.

Damon loomed over her before finding the words to speak.

"Elena… oh my God, oh my God, Elena I'm so sorry! Please, let me help you!" She could hear Damon sobbing too, he went to touch her causing her to shrink in on herself even more. He immediately backed away.

Nothing about him was familiar. It was as if he had become a complete stranger all over again, as if they hadn't known each other for years now. His once hard working hands became rough and dangerous. His deep voice no longer making her smile but rather putting all her nerves on edge.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered one last time and she heard his heavy footfalls as he left.

Elena continued to cry, not having the energy to move. She was shaking like a leaf and the pain was so bad she didn't even think she could if she tried.

As sobriety began to slowly wash back over her, she realized what she had done. She had just lost her virginity to Damon Salvatore, her boyfriend's older brother. She had led him on, even said yes at one point. Both were much too drunk… could she even blame him for continuing to go through with it? If she was an outsider looking in, she would know none of this was Damon's fault, the blame fell on her. She was the cheater. She was the slut.

* * *

Her alarm went off for work and Elena grudgingly woke up to turn it off. Her entire body throbbed including her head, and she leaned over the edge of her couch throwing up the contents of last night into a luckily placed garbage can. There was no way she'd be able to go in today. She didn't even think she had the energy to call in, planning on just waiting till her next shift to explain some emergency that came up. They all loved her there anyway, they wouldn't be mad.

She felt disgusting and reeked of Damon's cologne, each time she caught a whiff sending her into a flashback. She had to get to the shower and wash him away. Wash all of last night away. The second she stood up she crumbled back down to her knees, the pain in between her legs too intense. As she began crying, she duly noted the stickiness on her thighs, encouraging her to crawl the rest of the way to the bathroom.

Not having the strength to stand in the shower, she drew herself a bath, the knob turned all the way on hot. As she undressed she began to notice the bruises. There was a purple tint around her lips. Her wrists where both a dark shade of purple with obvious finger marks circling them. Her thighs were also darkly bruised with finger marks and dried blood. She threw up again before she got in.

The water was scalding hot and her skin began to immediately turn red. However, the heat felt good in between her legs and she closed her eyes, sighing as she began to adjust to it. She took her washcloth and began scrubbing all over. She had to close her eyes when she cleaned between her legs, not wanting to see the damage done to her. She continued to scrub and once the water had turned cold, she realized she wasn't ever going to be able to wash away the feeling of him. He had tainted her and she had let him, she had basically told him to, and now things would never be the same.

She got out and blow dryed her hair, the pain in her legs not as intense as before, allowing her to stand. She put on some leggings and a sweatshirt. She grabbed the clothes she had worn last night as well as the wash cloth and shoved them to the bottom of her garbage, grabbing an advil and heading back to her room where she proceeded to barricade herself inside.

Elena laid back in bed and her eyes found the picture on her nightstand of her and Stefan at the zoo. He had no idea yet what she had just done and she clenched her thighs together, beginning to cry again as the immense guilt rammed into her.

* * *

An hour had passed in which Elena had laid staring at the wall. She had cried herself out and was so exhausted, but everytime she shut her eyes the night replayed itself in her mind.

She jumped when she heard someone come into her apartment. She froze, petrified, fearing it would be Damon back for more, but instead heard Stefan's voice call to her. She had forgotten he had a spare key.

"Elena!? Elena where are you? The library called and said you didn't show up to work today, is everything-" He was cut off by her running into his arms.

She buried her face in his chest and clutched his shirt in her fists. It hurt to stand, but it felt so nice to be held. He smelled somehow like the complete opposite of Damon. His scent made her feel safe, made her feel as if maybe everything could be okay again.

"Elena, what's wrong? What happened?" But she couldn't meet his eyes. She knew as soon as she looked up at him he would know what had happened.

"Elena, look at me please, you're worrying me, did something happen? Let's go sit down."

Elena felt him begin to guide her towards the couch and the idea of being even near that thing sent her to tears. When she knew they were about to sit down, she felt him freeze and his arms go slack. He knew.

"Elena what the fuck is that."

Not knowing what he was talking about, Elena opened her eyes to see a used condom on the floor along with Damon's belt. She hadn't even known he had used protection.

"Is that… is that… is it Damon's?" He whispered his name as if it caused him pain to even say it.

"Stefan, I'm so sorry, please I swear! I swear I didn't mean to, please! You have to forgive me, I need you." She was sobbing hysterically, the idea of losing him as equally terrifying as the idea of being alone again.

"Forgive you? Forgive you?! After you fucked my brother! We've been together one year and nothing, he comes over one night and you spread open your legs! Fuck you Elena!" He shoved her off him and she fell onto the couch, quickly getting back up and chasing him out to his car.

"Stefan I know, I know I messed up, but please you have to forgive me! Please Stefan!"

"No! No Elena! You don't get to fucking do that! You don't get to be a whore, fuck my older brother, and expect me to just forgive you! Life doesn't work like that. Do you know what you've done to me?! Do you even care that you just broke my heart?" He was crying now too and it killed Elena knowing she had been the source of his pain.

"Please let me explain." She reached for him but he turned away, getting into his car.

"We're over Elena. I never want to see you again. You broke my heart, maybe you can just do me the one favor of staying the hell away from me."

He drove away and Elena ran back inside, slamming the door behind her. She fell to her knees as gut wrenching sobs overtook her, clutching her stomach as a pain she had never experienced before overtook her.

Her family had been the first loves of her life and she had gotten them killed in a car accident. She been drunk yet again and making out with a stranger, not keeping track of time. Her parents had gone out looking for her after she stopped responding and hadn't been home on time and had found her straddling this rando with her tongue down his throat. She had been a little bitch on the ride back, causing her dad to focus more on handling her rather than the road. They went off into Wickery Bridge. Elena, not wearing a seatbelt, was thrown from her seat and actually went out the window. When she woke up she was in the hospital and told her entire family had died.

Stefan had been the second great love of her life. He was the only man she had ever been with where she knew they would end up together, simply waiting till they were a few years older to get married. He made her feel genuinely happy and taught her how to love life again. She had found true love and had shattered it. All because of some drunken pleasure. What kind of a person would do that? Especially to someone as amazing as Stefan. She knew he would've loved her through thick and thin, but not through this. He had called her a whore and she had never before felt how dirty of a word that was until now, but she knew it was true. Everything he said had been true.

She was a whore and the people who loved her had to pay the price.

She collected herself enough to make it back to her bed where she laid, snuggled up close to her teddy. She stood back up and grabbed the garbage can by her bed, dry heaving into it. She was just in so much pain, it was all too much.

She didn't want it to be like this. She didn't want to feel like this.


End file.
